Emotional Day

Posted by dumpyfrumpy40something on 11:07 PM
Today was an emotional day for me.  There are so many pregnancies happening around me at the moment, normally I cope fine but I think that because to me my family isn't complete and it won't be, I feel some days are worse than others.  
See we were always going to have 2 children and although we do, one is an angel in the sky and the other is here on earth and I love him more than life itself he is our miracle boy from 11 IVF transfers not to mention being born at 25 weeks.  I still feel I am missing one more on earth but due to having an incompetent cervix our second one will never happen which is hard especially when you have 8 embrio's on ice.  I still can't bring myself to do anything with our embrio's because to me they are 8 of our babies there and until I accept its over that's where they will stay.  If we did have another one I would most likely have to be on bed rest for the whole pregnancy which is impossible with a near 4 yr old and not fair on him.  I have been told about a new stitch they can do higher up but we still don't know if it would work.  

Don't get me wrong I am so happy for these friends but its still like a knife going into your heart and you feel like you have been left behind. I've even had friends virtually stop talking to me or mentioning their pregnancies because they don't want to hurt me (haven't said but I know it), but what they don't realise it's like your being treated like an infertile all over again and its something you will never just get over. They think the friendship will be fine once they have given birth, but sorry I have a long memory and I don't just 'get over it'.


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